ImperialKnights

Moments.

Way Of The Shinobi — Sun, 24 May 2009 17:53:00 +0000

So far on my journey to the east i have seen some interesting moments.
1. Being that of a man being arrested for selling illegal CD/DVDs. His stall consisted of a wooden suitcase folded open on a stand. I’m sure he knew it was illegal, but wanted to make a quick buck. As he was hauled away people starred and gossiped.
[The man selling the illegal CD/DVD; he's doing something wrong, and people just watch. They call shame on him and such. And yet everyone continues on. I wanted to feel sorry for him, but the law was in my way.]
2. On the busy streets of Kowloon Soy street, where people literally walked shoulder to shoulder. A old woman was begging for money. From the moment i arrived with sun still shining to dusk when the cloudy sky formed, she sat their swaying back and forth begging.
[I felt bad for her, deep within my gut to see a elderly woman begging. I am very biased, and was raised to respect elders. But to see an elder at the age of 70+ beg like a dog, i was struck with confusion. ]
3. A man with no forearms, painting on the ground with his stubble. Day after day, even through rain he’s there painting. Drawing a small crowd around him.
[Amazement? or sympathy? what am i supposed to feel for a man who is has no limbs but can carry on to paint everyday. Do i pity him because he has no arms? or should i treat him normal, be fascinated by him, confused again.]
4. A possibly mentally disabled, but definitely physically disabled man in a wheelchair cries aloud begging for people to buy flowers. He shouts from his wheelchair loudy above all in the mildy busy street of time square. “I beg you, buy my flowers!”
[People in wheelchair, i always feel bad for. But some don't want to be taken pity upon. Though this man begged, and like all beggars there is a slight chance it may all be a scam in the end. I'm afraid to help people, i'm afraid to be scammed. I'm a horrible person? A childish person? A person who now is jobless aswell. So weighing the facts, i am in no position to give, but yet a part in my gut wants to]

I never knew

Way Of The Shinobi — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 08:08:45 +0000

I never knew life was this hard. The difficulty level that I feel is painful. I used to be so disciplined, always studying, joining extra curriculum teams. It used to be hard, but in a sense it was rewarding. Then I reached high school, and all things went loose. I stopped sleeping early, I hardly studied, and I didn’t join any clubs. I was unmotivated, lazy per say. I failed at things, and though I was not discouraged I was bored. I still am bored, stuck in this city where when winter falls, hibernation is all one can do. In my life there is no excitement, and I’m fine with that. However it’s that feeling of what am I doing. I wish I could skip my University life and wake up with a degree in my field and move on. Work in a job that’s comfortable like one in a cubicle or one that travels allot. One that lives on the west coast of North America. As of now, my heart has sunk, as honestly I don’t know where I’m heading. I feel a little lost. Ever since I started university, time initially moved slowly, but after a midterm it progressed too fast for me to catch up with. I fell behind. I only wish I could start over, maybe then I would realize the importance of knowing where I’m going.

Best Friend a Girl?

Way Of The Shinobi — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 06:17:39 +0000

The age old question is whether a guy and a girl can become best of friends without having any sexual desires for one another. Seaching through google, alot of posts denounce it as impossible, and the notion that all guys just want to tap that. Personally i want to think a guy and girl can be just best friends. I truly desire that. There are just too many things that can not be expressed when i’m with my guy friends. At the table, it’s all testotrome and any notion of “emotions” will be mocked guaranteed. But with a girl it’s different, generally they’re more expressive so it’s easier to express. There are so many things i would do if i had a girl who was my best friend. She would be my pillar when studying to keep me on track, it wouldn’t be awkward or lonely going to movies and restaurants. We could go to coffee shops and sit there studying, talking and so forth. Though from an exterior point of view these are things that boyfriend and girlfriends do, but the irony of it is, if it were a two guy friends seeing a movie or at a restaurant it would seem queer. And both guys would feel awkward assuming they were straight. Society views are strange, and sadly as much as i avoid the norm, i am too self concious. But a girl as a best friend would solve all these. I just wish it wasn’t so hard in finding a best friend whose a girl. I mean how does one even start? “Do you want to be my best friend?” If only i could manage to say those words. Then again who knows how she’ll react.

Physical Capability

Way Of The Shinobi — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:14:25 +0000

I often have thoughts of what if. What if i were to wait for a car to come at me head on, would i be able to roll away? jump on top of it? To test my capabilites and to feel the adrenaline. There are so many scenarios, that can not be performed. Jumping off a ledges to see what the maximum height until a sprain, fracture, death. Sadly in this reality there are no second chances after death. And though i do not know if recreation or such is real, or even if this sitting is a real reality in which i am in. I have my doubts, and sometimes i view things in a third person. Though one thing is forsure i am not willing to take the risk. As questioning as my thoughts are i am as laid back as it. I never take chances, and i never go for opportunities. Do i have ambitions? I have yet to answer this. I have so many questions, but there are not enough answers. No one seems to be able to comfort me in being able to assure me of something. Is it insecurity? I don’t know, i don’t know how insecurity feels. All i know is that if i asset the situation in this currrent reality and propose to my self the ways i may take.

Sister Complex

Way Of The Shinobi — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 07:01:16 +0000

I was watching this anime; True Tears. One of the themes that came up was of Sister Complex. One of the characters; the older brother who has been caring and protecting his little vulnerable sister all these years realizes he might have a sister complexion. Denying himself, he tried to find love for his sister by striking a deal with the main character. In the end the deal fails and the older brother reveals to his sister that he loves her. Her response is i like you too. The brother tries to explain that his love is not the same as her love towards him. He asks if he can kiss her, not knowing what her brother is trying to explain she says yes. He leans forward, kisses her on the forehead, the cheek, and attempts the lips. The little sister backs away before the liplock, and finally realises what he means. With this the brother knows he can not stay and protect his little sister anymore.

This is not the first anime or anything i have seen that displays some sort of Sister complex. It makes me curious as to why it is usually older brothers that it happens to. Is it the feeling of being depended on by a female figure which contures up some hidden emotion? Society shares the view in that it’s wrong and despicable in every sense. However is this no different from the Oedipus complex? Oedipus a boy in greek mythology who unkowningly kills his father and marries his mother. In a more psycological term Frieud described this as; When the child feels sexual desire for the parent of the opposite sex and desires the death of the parent of the same sex. Is having a sister complex something based inside already, or does it develope? In the norm view the older brother who sees his sister in that view is shunned upon. But if the older brother knowlingly knows this feeling and knows it is wrong and cannot act upon. Isn’t it kind of sad? It’s not a position anyone would want. One he would already be torn inside. Further if he would to act he would cause further chaos. Relationship would easily be destroyed. In comparison to coming out of the closet, a sister complexion seems worse, since one wouldn’t beable to even come out.

Lovely Complex

Way Of The Shinobi — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:24:12 +0000

Lovely Complex is an anime whose theme revolves around two individuals with height differences. The girl is 5’7 and the boy is 5’1. The girl and the guy are friends, a comedy duo. Together they can laugh and have fun. However they never thought of each other until the girl develops feelings for the boy. She knows it’s weird, well because he’s so short compared to her. An exaggeration; Giraffe and Penguin.

It made me ponder how difficult it is for a girl and a guy if the girl is substantially taller than the guy. Society seems to look at this weirdly. However when it’s vice versa; guy is substantially taller than the girl it’s quite alright. There seems to be some discrimination inwhich a girl can’t be with a boy shorter than her. I’ve heard this from girls too. When they describe their “guy” they always look for tall. I don’t see what’s wrong with a short guy, or a medium guy, nor tall guy. Personally; i wouldn’t mind dating girls shorter, same height or even taller than me. What’s important to me is that the girl looks cute. I’ve met a girl who was 5 feet i think, i was walking beside her talking to her. We just met on a random occurance. She looked up at me and said wow you’re quite tall. I know for a fact i’m not tall. I’m average for an asian guy but i’m not tall. My friends that are male are ALL taller than me. They emphasize my shortness as compared to them. I looked at her face and thought wow she’s cute, so adorable. I seriously wanted to hug her. For a girl that petite as my girl friend i would wrap my arms around her and squeeze her like a stuffed toy. I sound weird, but it’s what i’d do. heh heh.

Last i scaled my height i was 170 centimeters which works out to be approximately 5’7. Which is average for an asian male and about 4-5 inches taller for an average asian female. Like the girl in anime whose 5’7 also. 5’7 for a girl is a modelling height. If a girl was my height i’d have no problem with that. Things would be more the same i guess.

An finally say if a girl were hypothetically 5 inches or more taller than me. What am i talking about, hells yes, a girl taller than me is exotic. Ofcourse it’d be weird to the public, but really she’d be like the girl my height; simply model like but multiplied a bit. A tall tall model. With a gorgeous face, even if she was taller than me i would not really care. I would go on stilts for her. Thinking back on this, i remember there was this girl who i sat beside in high school in biology class. She was substantially taller than me, 5’11? 6? 6’1? somewhere around that range. Every time i sat beside her and glanced at her face; it was just so cute. Sitting at that table in her seat she you wouldn’t notice that height difference. But as she stood tall, her height really emphasized her slender figure. imagine if she EVER wore a skirt; those legs of hers would give me any guy a bleeding nose. I recall sometime last year walking through university during rush period, and i could see her towering figure above all elses. Such a shy yet tall girl. Truly who wouldn’t not want to be with?

Hence my point; Height should not matter. I for one do not look for height in a girl. Let her be short, medium or tall. As long as she’s porportioned and has a stunningly cute, adorable face, one which would make my heart skip just being near.

It’s funny

Way Of The Shinobi — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 00:59:44 +0000

Well, to me it is anyways. The fact that i am now more attracted to asian girls then i was. Back in the days when i was in elementry and junior high, my school was filled with asians. Ofcourse there was the occasional beautiful asian girl there that i crushed on, but the rest were “ugh.” Not to be judgemental … wait that’s not right, I am judgemental. Anyways my taste in women from race have not totally changed. I still find Many brunette girls very cute. However, it just seems to me that now there seems to be more cute asian girls wandering the university. I know it’s not right statistically, but i seem to notice them more and more. Could it be the reasoing their dark hair and peachy fair skin is more noticable to me because they almost contrast? Possibly that is one of the reasonings. I also think it’s because i’m more influenced in asian culture then i ever was. In high school, my school was basically caucasians from the sub urbans. During the last year of high school i engulfed myself in asian culture, particulary; Japanese, Korean and Chinese culture. The big East. This carried on through my first year of university and still continues with me. Now every time i see a gorgeous asian girl i can’t but to help imagine her in a drama. Most guys have something they like about a girl, their legs, their hips, their breasts, and such. A fetish you might say, but no matter what any guy says; the number one priority is a face. No matter how good the body is; if the face does not suit, then it fails. A body without a head does not function, unless you’re like a earthworm or cockroach. As i was saying though, a girl’s face is the most important thing. The first thing i notice is her face. Might she wear low cut jeans, bra hanging out, long slender legs, skin exposed. The only thing i will notice is her face. Personally i don’t mind a girl who’s breast size is small, her height is a little below average or above average, missing a finger, scars on her body, and so forth, as long as her face is something i can continue to look at, day in and day night. A face which i can put my forehead to and just stare, stare like when we were kids. Another big factor in how a girl looks to me, is the way her hair is. A girl with straigh bangs in the front will automatically almost catch my attention. Hair makes that much difference in a person’s exterior presences. I for one did not want to look like the average boring guy, with the semi medium straight hair. How boring is that? All i could do was gel it up and such. Anywho back to the girl with the straight bangs, the bangs are important not only in covering acne or whatever. It also emphasizes the eyes. So every time i see a girl with straight bangs, i see her bangs then her face, then her eyes which most of the time build into her physical characteristics. I see it common in asian girls to have straight bang cuts, and for the most part those who are cute pull it off very well. It adds to their cuteness by X10 in my opinion. Though i guess not every girl or guy has the same taste as me. I’ve had guy friends who will date any body, well because you know why. Well what do you know, i wrote a craplot in 15 minutes or so.

Kokoro no Tomo

Way Of The Shinobi — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 00:04:34 +0000

literally transalte to soulmate, but also read as heart of friend. And i think that’s one of the biggest thing i’m searching for. I really wish i had a best friend. I have friends, tons of friends, but not an exclusive best friend. I had a best friend when i was in elementry school. He was a half italian half scotish kid, who was really cool. We were of best of friends for awhile. I remember a time when we had to move desks due to new seating arrangements. We were pretty bummed about it, and thought if we tied a lace around our two desks they couldn’t move us…ha hah, looking back, it was pretty hilarious. He was my first best friend, i met him in grade 3 and it was funny how we bacame friends. I remember it, because it was pretty epic. I don’t remember what month it was, but it was raining outside, and we were inside the classroom playing around. It was recess so we were pretty free, i don’t remember why but we were chasing around, and he farted, and i lolled so hard. That was nice imprint impression lol. If i recall, we were best friends till grade 7, and then it pretty much dissolved. I don’t know how, but it did. Grade 7 & 8; junior high, was a transition and so other groups were formed, and we hung with those groups more than another. Not to mention being in another class than him didn’t help. I feel bad sometimes that i haven’t kept in contact with him, but i’m sure he’s changed. People always change. I like to think i’ve changed, but not as much as i’ve hoped. I’m still too honest and friendly exteriorly. I think people take advantage of that, i know, i let them, but i don’t do anything for that. I should feel bad, but i don’t. I’ve grown a bit more, in hating this world and it’s people in it, which is probably why i don’t feel so bad about it.

Move!

Way Of The Shinobi — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 01:15:45 +0000

i was the grocery mart today purchasing things. I had a friggin cart and i was at the checkout lane. Ahead me was what seemed to be a very bossy lady from my perspective. Not only bossy but rather dumb. Two points that made her dumb were these…She’s at the checkout lane and the cashier is ringing her things through, the lady tells the cashier that she bought yogurt here last time and they were all rotten it seemed. She then goes on asking if she can have a refund. As a guy who is a cashier i’m already thinking to myself. “Hey moron, did you bring the rotten product with you?” Just as a cashier is supposed to do, the girl cashier asks do you have it with you? The lady says no. BING! you can’t refund something you don’t have. If that was the case then everyone would pretend they bought something just so they could get a “refund”. Jeeze that was dumb of her. So this goes on for atleast 3 more minutes. Eventually she realizes she can’t win, and continues with her purchase. This is at supervalue, you know one of those supermarkets like safeway, target etc, where they have two conveyers. The lady had her items on the first conveyer, and so obviously mine would be on the second one. So as my stuff are there, i need to get the cart out too. I ask her politely to move, you know “excuse me” and such. Absolutely no response or movement from her. I’m like WTF. I can’t push her, cause that’d be just mean of me. So i wait, finally she gets her dumbass moving. I head over to the second conveyer, pack all my items into my bag into my cart. As i look baack i see another lady doing the exact same thing to someone else, blocking people with their fat ass. MOVE people, MOVE. I know you like to be selfish, self right, ignorant pigs, but for heavensake, MOVE your fat limbs.

My Pair

Way Of The Shinobi — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 22:08:44 +0000

i get this strange emotion everytime i finish a psychological anime. It always gets to me. I begin to contemplate over an over of hypothetical situations and things i’m missing in my life. Following Kurau Phatom Memory it really got to me, that one of the missing part is my pair. When i speak of pair, i speak of a companion. Something like a best friend, but this best friend is only yours and yours is theirs. No not a spouse or anything. There is no sexual anything with the pair. Like Kurau; her pair appeared infront of her, and she took her on like a little sister. Now this pair you can trust and you know they will never betray you. You can convey all your emotions and thoughts to them and vice versa. I guess such pair does not exist in the real world such as this. Yet still i wish i had a pair. One who would keep me on the court. My legs to the ground and guide me every step of the way, and in return i would do the same. We’d go to the library to study, day in day out. Following a seemingly identical path. Helping one another concentrate. Isolating the distractions of others and just keeping to ourselves. This is my pair i would gladly say. “My pair that i can convey to. The envoy to my mind. “